[ hold :: this space ]

we’ve spent the last two days with Elaine Enns at a staff retreat, talking about restorative justice, and making links between the ethos and values behind RJ and our work within the church and community.

it’s been a provocative and inspiring couple of days - in the midst of all the stories of transformation and restoration, we also did a lot of thinking about power, working around or with both imagined and real opposition, the [false?] dichotomies that shape our thinking and our work. we imagined new ways of relating, and of holding our work accountable to the ethos of restoration.

the stuff that i think will be most confronting for us is the critique of power that restorative justice demands. restorative justice has at its core a re-balancing of relationships, a reclaiming of life and identity, and our understanding of power is a major part of that.

It goes without saying that we act out of our perception of our power, and that we largely define ourselves and our capacity to act by our perceived place on the power continuum. our normal critique of power is to believe we need to open up one end of the continuum to allow more people to be part of it [for example, males 'move over' to allow space for females to participate; we decide that someone can be in leadership in the church 'in spite of' their sin]. we’re still working off the same continuum, but the ‘other’ is allowed in by virtue of the power-holder’s generosity. at the heart of a transforming gospel, though, is the idea that the very continuums themselves are challenged: people are no longer defined as good or bad, in or out, worthy or unworthy, male or female, prisoner or free, jew or gentile… it’s not that we all end up at the same end of those continuums, it’s that the continuum itself is questioned. so, it’s not that we make everyone worthy of a leadership position - it’s that worthiness is no longer part of the equation. if we challenge the continuum, one end of it can no longer have privilege, and those who hold it no longer have the power to include or exclude.

there’s nothing new about any of that, but the last few days have made me analyse how much of the language we use is power-based. i’ve talked often about how the most important message in the workshops we host on alt worship is about permission-giving… but wordy, that’s terrible language. it assumes that permission is someone’s [mine?] to give, which means, by extension, it’s also mine to withhold [even if i would never choose not to]. it’s generous language, but it still holds people within a power relationship.

i’m not sure if the connection between that and what follows will be clear yet, and i’ll elaborate in a week or two with something we’re working on here… but it reminds me of the story i’ve loved most in the book the starfish and the spider. It’s of Deborah Alvarez-Rodriguez, who heads up Goodwill Industries in San Francisco. This is a bit of her story:

The moment Deborah set foot inside [Goodwill], she began to enact massive changes. “I realised that I had to create a certain level of chaos,” she told us. Her board, her management team, and the employees were scared. “Do you have to be so disruptive?” one board member asked. “Yes, I do,” Deborah replied.
“We’d been such a hierarchical organisation,” she told us. “We needed to get people into a conversation and get them to be innovative and creative. People in positions of power needed to understand that great ideas come from people who are closest to the ideas.”
…
This type of leadership isn’t ideal for all situations. Catalysts are bound to rock the boat. They are much better at being agents of change than guardians of tradition. Catalysts do well in situations that call for radical change and creative thinking. They bring innovation, but they’re also likely to create a certain amount of chaos and ambiguity. Put them into a structured environment and they might suffocate. But let them dream and they’ll thrive.”

- p. 130f

i think she’s describing an organisation where the continuums are being redefined. so much creativity and imagination in the church is constrained because people hold the power to give permission, or people are waiting for permission. it’s still based on a power continuum. it’s only possible by virtue of someone else’s generosity…. how do we create a system, or a network that isn’t based on permission giving, on one person or group having the right to validate another’s work? can we actually do it within an institution that has been shaped so tightly by the continuums we’re actually trying to redefine?

we’ve got so, so much work to do on all this…

We’re off for the next couple of days at a CFM [commission for mission] staff gathering. This year’s conference has been focussed around introducing the broader staff of the CFM to the concept of communal justice. Elaine Enns will be offering input, which i’m really looking forward to - she’s been working in the area of communal justice for nearly 20 years. Elaine’s in Australia with her husband, Ched Myers, and they’ll be leading a school of discipleship in Canberra this weekend.

On sunday afternoon the Port Phillip West communal justice task group will be meeting again in werribee, planning a media campaign and a few other things as well…

this is for worship i’m leading next week for the cfm staff gathering

it will take grace to let others here be different to our expectations of them
so we pray for grace

it will take courage for each of us to live beyond the story we know of ourselves
so we pray for courage

it will take wisdom to believe we don’t have all the answers
so we pray for wisdom

it will take hope to believe our future is not yet determined
so we pray for hope

in the story of god all expectations are defied
all things are made possible
the whole world is made new

it will take faith to live as though this can be our story
and so we pray for faith.

It seems we’re already half way through jonny’s visit. How did that happen so fast? It’s been pretty full on so far… a great trip to Tassie [if a little too rushed], a full day of workshops and conversations in the synod office yesterday, and the Upper Room last night, a radio interview today…back into workshops tomorrow…

I’ve been thinking over the last few days that we’ve seen quite a remarkable change over the last year or so: people no longer see the possibilities of alt worship and new forms of community as a threat to what’s already existing… it feels like there’s a new sense of grace or liberation emerging. Jonny’s been using the language of the church as a mixed economy - not everyone has to be alternative, not everything has to change - and that resonates with the change in atmosphere. I’m not sure how the change has happened over the last year, but i don’t think come out of desperation - out of a belief that the church will die if we don’t - which i think is a good thing. I’m not sure that many initiatives born of desperation have the strength to last past the first adrenaline rush.

Interestingly, i think tassie’s further on the way down the path than victoria… and what’s happening there is largely lay led, not driven by the ordained - or, perhaps more accurately, it’s seen as a shared journey, not one where someone has authority or wisdom over the other.

Tassie was a fabulous trip - there’s lots of stuff happening on the ground, just bubbling up from out of nowhere. It would be a tragedy to think the church had to put an official imprimateur on it in order to validate it… Maybe the task of the church isn’t to give permission for the new to happen, it’s to stand back and let there be space for the new to grow, and to buffer it from those who say it can’t happen. I’m really looking forward to getting down there again soon.

Jonny’s written a description of things so far… and posted some gorgeous photos. it really was that beautiful…

It’s busy at the moment. I got into the office this morning while it was still dark, and i’ve been watching the sun come up over the buildings outside my window - Melbourne glows in autumn. The other afternoon we had a fierce storm - thunder, lightning, hail… I could see everyone in the office block over on the next street  lined up against their windows watching it. It was a shared moment of awe: the city needs more of them.

Anyway… as I said, it’s busy. Here are a few of the reasons why there won’t be much action on the blog over the next few weeks.

Don’t tell Grace who’s processing the registrations, but I’m willing to extend the deadline to register for the Communal Justice Workshop on Saturday. A few people have asked if we’ll be filming sessions - we will be, but due to privacy issues [respecting those who are telling stories - particularly ex-prisoners and victims of crime] we won’t be able to make them widely available.

I’m speaking at the Progressive Christian Network gathering in St Davids UC, Canterbury on May 18.

The Urban Ministry Forum seems like it is shaping up nicely. It’s here in Melbourne, from May 29 to June 1. Jonny Baker will speaking at that - he arrives in just a few weeks.

There are a small number of spaces left for the alt worship nosh… I’m so looking forward to this. Registration forms can be downloaded here:  altworshipnosh.pdf.

The first half of this year has been a relentless flow of events… all good, but at almost all of them i’ve been talking about alt worship to interested onlookers, rather than working with people who live and breathe it. Most of the events are with church groups [conferences, workshops, etc.], and i have to remember a whole different language in those contexts. It’s like i’m searching in my memory for my rusty schoolgirl french [and i never was so good at that - all i have left is 'je voudrais un espresso, s'il vous plait', on which i've survived whole weeks in Paris].

I think humans are hardwired to create - something dulls in me when i don’t have the space to do that…  it’s been a good few months, but i’m a little tarnished. The second half of the year is shaping up quite differently, and already it feels like it will be much more like home…

i’m beginning and ending each day at a conference next week that will largely be attended by social workers, community development workers and chaplains… this is for them…

We’re only human,
we say,
apologetically,
as though it is a failing

as though we could be more.

Dismissing,
in an instant,
the gift we are most able to offer.

We rush to fill our days and weeks with programs
meetings
administration
people

because to stand still
means we might be overwhelmed by all there is to be done
and our inadequacy in doing it.

We presume that the world could be fixed
if we just tried a bit harder and did a bit more

because the alternative is to admit the fragility of all that we hope for.

Yet when we try to be more than human
we deny space for all that is not human:
the love beyond human making
the hope beyond human faking
the peace beyond human understanding.

It takes courage
to stop looking at all there is to do
and instead to turn and face the limits of who we are

It takes courage
to end where we end
and to let faith begin…

i feel like i’m doing production line worship at the moment - event after event after event, all of them exhibitions …

i’m doing reflection spaces next week for the Uniting Care national conference. It’s an honour to have been asked, and while i’m not yet looking forward to it, i can see that i’m going to enjoy it. The organisers are looking for alternative worship… but, of course, since it’s a conference, I have no control over the space at all - over the lighting, seating, where the focus of attention will be… i can’t do stations, there will be limited multimedia capacity… i don’t know the audience, and they’ve asked for ‘inspiring’. all things that don’t fit what i do, and that go against the definitions of alternative.

up until now i’ve been fighting the limits and getting nowhere. today i’ve just given into them, and stopped thinking it needs to be alternative. it just needs to work with the people and the context. which means it will, by necessity, be word based, and far more direct and concrete than what i would do anywhere else. though starting from that perspective feels like fingernails down a blackboard, i think we’ll end up somewhere good. the letting go has already made the world of difference.

while i love doing this, i’m really missing doing alternative at the moment. i know some people don’t get the difference, but from the planning side of the table, there’s a whole world between them.

all that is to say that it’s deadline hell around here - things will be quiet for the next couple of weeks.

[and i'm thinking of changing the blog into a more traditional website. i wonder if it's time to make it less a journal of the project and more a collection of resources. a blog, by nature, implies something more personal, and I'm a bit over that... I suspect it would reduce readership, but that's not ever been the point of it... anyway. it's just an idea i'm playing with...]

the synod here is about to begin a strategic planning process. i wrote a couple of reflections as a resource for it, this is one:

We are trying, God,
and we are angry that the world will not listen
when we try to speak of you,

yet deep down
we acknowledge that we no longer have the words
that speak of who you are
and all you have done.

While we know it is no sin to be speechless,
we must confess that we have stopped looking.

Teach us a new language, God -
one of wild imagination and courageous vision -
so we can begin to tell a new story
that will unfold your ageless plot of freedom
liberation
and grace
to a world longing to hear.
A story that will speak of hope with the turning of each page.
A story that you promise has no ending but love.

it hasn’t slipped my attention that a quarter of the year has passed before I’m putting this up… there barely seems time at the moment to take a breath.

Easter: we’re not doing anything, for many reasons… but the Urban Seed guys let me know about a Stations of the Cross which will be happening at Mission to the Seafarers. Via Crucis @ Docklands 2008 will include art and multi-sensory, interactive worship stations based upon the Easter stories. The space will be open for personal reflection from midday on Maundy Thursday, 18th March. The exhibit will close on the evening of Good Friday, 19th March with a Reflective Worship Service commencing at 8pm.

The next public thing we’re working on is a basement space for the Forge Grassroots conference. After that we move into communal justice workshops, then a workshop in May for the Progressive Christian Network… At the end of May Jonny Baker arrives in melbourne to speak at the Urban Ministry Conference, and he’s also participating in the Alternative Worship Nosh [registrations are coming in for that - we've got limited places, so sign up soon if you plan to come].

Some of you will have heard that Pete Rollins was coming out in September - we’ve changed that date to February / March next year, in order to not clash with everything else that’s happening in September [and to be able to take a breath, post-greenbelt], and because we’re planning some fabulous things for Lent next year, which will be topped off with Pete’s visit.

The Docklands space is back on the agenda, the communal justice project is ramping up, i’m working with a new school development which is designing a ‘ministry centre’ / sacred space from scratch, and i’ve got an idea for next year’s holy week and this year’s christmas…

Today I’m working on worship / reflection spaces at the UnitingCare national conference in a couple of weeks - UnitingCare is the umbrella for the various agencies that are part of the uniting church [the uniting church is the largest non-government provider of welfare in australia]. this is my favourite kind of ‘audience’ - a large number of them wouldn’t define themselves as christian. i love having to look for new language…

welcome to this space

maybe you are here because you recognise in your own story
a greater story
one spoken since the beginning of time
by prophets, preachers and peacemakers
of God who calls all humankind to
liberation and wholeness.

if so, welcome to this space.

maybe you are here, not defined by a relationship with god
but nonetheless as someone with a deep conviction
that there is no inevitable unfolding to anyone’s life
but that our futures are yet to be written
and can be shaped by justice and compassion.

if so, welcome to this space.

maybe you are here because you have glimpsed
a moment of love that is beyond human reach
the grace that lies just beyond our finger tips
unexpected and beautiful
that transforms the ugly into breathtaking
the impossible into the real

if so, welcome to this space.

maybe you are here tired
no longer sure whether you belong
or how any of this makes a difference
struggling to remember the vision that inspired you
and to find the passion that eludes you

you too are welcome to this space…

things were so busy yesterday that the only possible thing to do was to take off and go and wander around the NGV for a couple of hours. thanks to sue for pointing me in the direction of a new installation… can’t wait to use this somewhere… it was a ladder made out of tubes of LED lights, hanging between two mirrors, one placed on the floor, one on the ceiling [about 3 m apart]. if you stand over the mirror, the ladder reaches up or down forever. it sounds mundane, it’s actually quite amazing.

and thanks to Kathy for pointing me towards Proyecto para un memorial (Project for a Memorial) - five video projections, each of a different face being painted with water on concrete, slowing disappearing in heat. the idea ties in beautifully with ecclesiastes ‘vanity, all is vanity’, which i’m using for the Uniting Care conference…

Chris Rowntree from the Centre for Theology and Ministry is organising what sounds like a fabulous day of art, theology and reflection, on Feb 23 at the CTM in Parkville. It’s around the theme of water. A registration form can be downloaded here: rego-form-web-version.pdf .[I was at the CTM this morning, to speak at a lecture in a course on Psalms, about the Psalms we've been writing in prisons. It was slightly intimidating - but very helpful - to have to verbalise and make sense of what was basically an intuitive process. It was certainly helpful for me, and hopefully for some of the students too!]